Recognizing those we cherish and value

I recently wrote a letter to a dear friend whom I have known my entire life. Though not bound by blood ties, he is without a doubt a brother to me. Through his support and unwavering help I have gotten to experience things that would otherwise have been impossible for me. It made me think upon and reflect how we usually only acknowledge or recognize someone's value after they've passed on. Kind of strange don't you think? That we wait until someone has passed to say how wonderful, helpful, or joyful they were in our lives. I want you my reader to take a second and step back and think who do you truly feel grateful to in your life right now? How often do you express or think of that person? Have you ever actually written to them or told how grateful you were? Studies show that the more gratitude we show others, the greater our overall happiness.

I can only reflect on those people that have passed whom I failed to acknowledge or at least thank appropriately for the lessons they taught me. Clearly one could consider my dad such an example. My memories of my childhood are fragmented. I remember good times, and horrible times. Being around a drunken abusive violent father figure tends to force one to grow sooner than others. However, in spite of my dads addictions and at times violence, I learned much from him, and owe who I am to the lessons he's taught me.

It's only years after he's passed that I understand just how much I failed to thank him for. Despite the hardships and abuse, I am who I am because of the trials and struggles I endured. I actually considered once if I could have been born on my due date (August 21) and had no disability whatsoever, would I still be me? It raises the questions, of how do you define identity? Despite my disability and despite the turmoil of my upbringing are these things that define who I am as an individual or they just abstract parts of my identity?

If I was given the choice to be free of my disability for one day, would I accept it and how would that change me. This is unique in itself. I am defined by the actions and struggles I've taken over my life. Both the good and the bad, the heartbreaking, and the heart warming aspects that make me who I am are unique in that no matter my physicality or situation they can never be replicated. No two people or experiences are exactly alike. 

I  only hope that as the years progress I continue to find some measure of self-worth and strength from within. Though I may not compare to my friends in the areas of physicality or even relationships, I still am who I am and only can offer what I have. Here's hoping I get to shine through the duration of my time.

What is talent?

Throughout our lives we meet a vast amount of people. Each of these people have their own unique talents.  In most instances rarely, if ever, do we get to see or know how that person is talented, and often ask ourselves how am I talented? What is unique about me that I can do well? What is it that helps people think of or remember me?

I know many talented people from gymnasts to artists. Yet not once have I ever attained an awareness of having my own talents. I struggled for years to gain the ability to walk, to function and thrive as I do. While in it's own way it is impressive, it certainly isn't a unique and gifted talent. One must consider that our talents can show how we are special from others. Most people look at me and because I am disabled automatically see me a special though often not in a kind or positive light.

I am in awe of people who have such gifts as singing and writing that literally can reach out and touch people and in even the smallest way brighten another life. What makes us unique as person is defined by what abilities and interactions that we have and leave behind. On some level I have a unique compulsion to talk and interact with others. This interactions has introduced me to people of wealth, influence and fame.

I started this blog at the encouragement of my friend Jay Finn who himself is a writer.  Through Jay's advice and encouragement I've begun to try and find my own talents in writing.  As he said to me, it's simply about writing every day, one line at a time. It's interesting to note that despite our income or where we are from or what we do, that most often, we forget the simple fact that we are all human beings.

Though I struggle daily with self-doubt and the occasional thoughts that I have amounted to and will achieve nothing in my life. I'm fortunate to have stumbled across such individuals as Jay Finn, and the Youtube star Tiffany Alvord, whom I follow on Twitter and Facebook, and who often posts very uplifting and encouraging quotes. Several times I have found myself smiling upon reading her encouraging words for that day or time. Thus I had entered a day in that much brighter of a frame of mind. It also made me realize that in our darkest times we sometimes need a boost to see the light that this world offers us.

I'm glad I've found such individuals with such unique perspectives and talents that can offer me such helpful guidance, even if it's just in their nature to be positive. Through these individuals I have begun to find my own inner strength and balance to strive for what I could become proficient and capable of doing in my own life. Only time will tell what impact I will have on those that know me. Here's to hoping it's as grand as I wish it to be. :)

A dream of just how powerful evil can become....

With heavy ragged breaths Heath lumbered over the skeletons lining the marbled hallway of the tower. Blood ran in rivulets down his scarred and jagged face. One eye closed tightly shut as blood freely flowed from underneath the lid. His remaining eye stared with a fierce determination at the nearing archway.

It had been decades for him to find the murderous bastard that his slain his men so coldly and dispassionately. The warlock had torn through his band of mercenaries in the dead night, harvesting their organs and blood for his foul magics. Leaving Heath alive as though tormenting him through the loss kindled some perverse desire to have him wallow in his agony, the warlock had vanished just as quickly as he had arrived. It had taken years to learn his name Salthas the Dreaded. Legends of the man if indeed he was one spawned centuries. Though powerful magic fueled his unnatural life Heath was certain his blessed blade Shadowsbane could end his twisted, demonic life.

With one agonizing step after another Heath drew closer to the archway of the spiraled staircase which lead towards the towers study here his foe waited. Finally as he approached the archway the shadows seemed to condense and take shape. Morphing together several feet before him in a giant mass the shadows coalesced into the tall yet thin and seemingly frail form of Salthas.

“You should not have come warrior, you'll only end up becoming mine as your friends have before you.” His voice was a low death-like rasp and beneath the shrouded black cowl of his robe his eyes gleamed a fierce orange reminding Heath of a raging inferno. Heath lunged forward drawing the claymore in one massive hand as he swung with all his strength, intending to complete the forward lunge and bisect his opponent before he could utter the words to a spell.

With barely a motion Salthas held out his hand palm up and a tiny egg sized ball of flame materialized an inch above the upturned palm. Waves of heat and dry air blasted Heath back one step. Horror dawned on Heath's face as he realized his blow wouldn't connect solidly, his sword blade flailing inches before his foe's grinning death-like face.

With a victorious cackle and this eyes flashing with delight Salthas poured a fraction of his power through the ball of flame in his palm. Heath screamed one final time in failure and in dismay as the radiating, rippling, skin searing heating washed over him. Forgive me my friends, I tried. I shall see you soon. Were his final thoughts as flames overtook his form and encompassed the entirety of the hallway spilling forth to consume the entirety of the tower in a torrent of flames that could be witness in the night sky for miles.